Waiting...

I hate waiting.  I am probably the most impatient person you will ever meet.  When i want something done i want it done right now.  If i have to depend on someone else to do it and it isn't being done within the time frame i want, i do it myself.

Since I had Chasley when i was 17 i decided that i should work instead of going to school after i graduated high school.  I wish i wouldn't have made that decision but i did and i am now paying for it.  Or am I?  For about the past year i have been driven crazy with the constant thoughts of "what am i going to do with my life??"   feeling like i am going to be stuck with a career that i would have never chosen.  And the thought of going to school overwhelms me because like many working mothers i think when will i have the time or the money to do that?  So now after a year of anxiety of no action on getting one step closer to what i want to do i have been wondering why God isn't showing me and giving me a way to accomplish this?  Like he is just supposed to hand it to me or something.  So then i start thinking well maybe i am not praying enough... or searching enough for what it is that i am supposed to do.  So i decided to pray about it more.  But just felt like i was talking but not really connecting or feeling God.  So i talked to my Hubby about it and he gave me some great advice.  He said "well maybe that is the problem... you are talking when you should be listening."  Hmmm... hadn't thought of it that way.  So now in this search of "what am i going to be when i grow up" i am really trying to listen for what it might be God is trying to show me.  Who knows maybe he is saying i have you right where you need to be right now.  :)